A client’s 86-year-old mother has been in an assisted living community close to my home for the past two years. She has been declining slightly, almost imperceptibly, over the years. Most recently she fell while in her room and was unable to get up or reach out for the call cord. It wasn’t until later that day, when mom did not come to dinner, that a staff member finally found her on the floor. She had been there for hours.
Fortunately, she was only weak and did not suffer any serious injury but it was of major concern for both the loved one as well as the centers administrator.
When our client was called about the incident, he spoke in length with the administrator. She told him that it was “time” for mom to move to skilled care, that it was best for her own safety.
He was disheartened for mom. She never wanted to go into “one of those places”. She loves her apartment, her friends and was still mentally strong and even physically strong. He took the time to research nursing homes and spoke with her doctor. He said that with her age and the fact that she fell and was unable to find the strength to get up, that it was an indication that her health was declining. He argued with the doctor that she doesn’t seem forgetful and that this environment was so good for her mental and emotional state. Of course, he wanted her to be safe but how is she going to feel having to go into a nursing home? How in the world would he tell her? How could they afford 24/hour skilled care? Can this facility force her to move?
These concerns are complex and unfortunately common. In fact, these questions are exactly the same that you may have, when faced with a situation such as this.
You are asking all the right questions and several more are in order:
What kind of contractual agreement does your mother have with the retirement community? Many assisted living facilities have month to month agreements. Often, when the facility needs more care, they can ask the resident to leave.
If it is a continuing care retirement community (CCRC), it is often stipulated in the contractual agreement that a nurse’s assessment will determine the location and level of care. It is more difficult for staff to provide services all over a large community and easier if all the people needing care such as medication and continence management are in the same building or on the same floor.
One other consideration is to think about how your mother’s quality of life may be when in a different setting? This can be difficult to assess and often depends on both the individual and the setting. Consider the levels of attention she may receive in a nursing home: less privacy and perhaps more restrictions with less activity and social schedules. Also, the cognitive levels of the other residents may be less than your mother’s, therefore she may not be able to establish as many friendships.
There are some other options, should the assisted living facility and her doctor agree:
- The option of physical therapy and exercise. Can her strength be regained with the appropriate guidance and strength training?
- Outside assistance. Can you afford and will the facility allow an in-home care agency to provide assistance in her room? Are you or other family/friends able to intervene more and see her on a more frequent basis?
To learn more about emotional, financial and long term planning to protect your loved one, you and the future, please contact me today to schedule an appointment. You can also visit our website at www.mjlandl.com/
